Some
people think I don’t like cats, I never said I don't like cats. Once, having
been invited to a party, I went shopping beforehand and bought a pair of
expensive Jimmy Choo boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so
badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very
short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk.
After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I
stumbled into a guy named Chad, spilling his Cosmopolitan onto his white Wham
'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Chad
sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and
snarled causing Chad to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his
forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In
its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Chad with a wet brown stain down the
back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat
