Dating
sites like Match are becoming antediluvian, giving way to ubiquitous apps like
tinder-bumble-hinge and even more that cater towards all sorts of cretins. My
playground includes both hinge and bumble as it serves for not only serious
meetings with like age range women, but because of that feature it also will
sometimes bring out my puerile arrested development creative solecism.
For those
of you that have a long-term marriage, or are single fishermen and cat women,
I'll explain Bumble. Bumble is a great app for humor and yes, some dates that
end happy. Bumble allows for the woman to be in the driver’s seat, as she
decides if she'll reply to your electronic request to basically meet her in
hopes of, from a straight male’s point of view, bumping uglies.
This very action recently led to, for me some
high humor that is still making me laugh. I only wish I could show you the
screen-shot of the conversation- Dear Sidney, who is blonde, 53 years old, nice
headlights, and lives in Orange County replied to my "swipe right" by
asking me this: "what are your top 3 travel destinations?" I couldn't
help it as my brain is wired to blurt out crap that is funny, so my answer
was:" London, Barcelona and Uranus." Now normally, on these sites
that kind of answer can get you banned and the woman on these sites then to be
emotionally fragile, so I was thinking I'd ether get reported for being crass,
no reply, or she'd lay into me. Sydney kind of half-assed it by replying
"Really?!" so I replied with this statement "I understand your
surprise at my choice, however if you are willing to overlook the geo-political
implications of Brexit, and the somewhat gloomy weather, London is really a
very charming place- you know, as the song states "London swings like a
pendulum do, Bobbies on bicycles 2 x 2, Westminster Abbey the tower of Big Ben,
the rosy red cheeks of the little children" Anyway we should get together
for a glass of wine to further discuss the virtues of all that London has to
offer.
So, after
that reply, I am at this moment waiting for Sydney's reply while laughing my
balls off- I'll post any updates- maybe she's going to catfish me? who knows
but it could get more entertaining, at least for me.
