Footlong

Sometimes obscure news stories are worth writing about.
The one about the high school football coach who put his man sausage in a hot dog bun and showed it to his players, " saying you want to see the big dog"on the face of things isn't all that original (note the movie "Bachelor Party" and "Porky's") and in this day and age not all that "odd".

The ironic and funny stuff is always in the details. Like that fact that he did this while at a "Leadership camp" and like an onion, as the layers are peeled the effluvia flows.

Apparently he was also drinking while being a mentor to under-age lads- now that in itself isn't so bad because if you've ever been involved with high school athletics, and especially men's sports, the reality is that most of these morons will become, at best alcoholic leaches on our collective social safety net, and at worst, they will be figuring out ways to collect bugs in prison to sexually stimulate their prostates. My point? hey he could do a lot worst things than proudly shroud his donnage in soft bread while drinking a few shots.

The story, however doesn't end there. apparently, he was over-heard calling a female student a "puck slut" because she was no ingenue and was known for  being assiduous in her pursuit of the hockey team  players....when asked about the comment, he said " the term was not meant to be inappropriate" To that statement i'd say he is somewhat right, because everyone knows the term for those women is "ice Whores"....but not knowing the correct slang wasn't his only sin.
Apparently, I've gotten so far detached from the "younger athletic crowd" that a new form of hazing is being practiced. Of course the Coach denied know anything about this new hazing term called "juicing" which, the story explained is the practice of several boys ganging up on another player and cramming their fingers into his anus. That description makes for a cacoethes need to go back to school and do the elephant walk with all my buddies.

Do I condone this? of course not, but it is a funny story and seeing that the kids involved, other than maybe the ones that got "juiced" were not really harmed, and really we don't know if they actually enjoyed the juicing, maybe putting up a mock fight to ward off being branded a homosexual, so, I feel there are a lot of things going on that could be worse. Ask Anthony Wiener about shame and dick humor...... now there is a story that couldn't be made up.

Straight Outta Compton "Bitches"

Noun: Bitch (bich):

Synonyms:

Twat, recondite cinnamon knot, douche twaddle

   

1. A miserable and despicable person who sucks all joy and happiness out of life, and makes life a little less worth living by her consistently shitty attitude. When not complaining, her drama and gossip will fill the void. He, or she (but usually she) refuses to do something with a group, and will forego hanging out with said group unless they're doing something she wants to do. She will put her interest ahead of others every single time, just for the sake of being a bitch. A bitch hates other people having fun.

"Hey guys, sorry we can't check out that new titty bar, Mike is being a bitch."

2. A status you assume when you take one in the pooper while incarcerated.
3. What you become when you fail at giving head, pool, bowling, farting and/or queefing contests
4. Having to sit in the middle seat between two people in a car or plane.
5. Crying, moaning, and throwing a tantrum about something nobody gives a shit about, including you.

"I'm not going to give you $6 for my share of an $11 pizza when all I owe you is $5.50. I shouldn't have to pay extra, waaaaaah!"

6. Having a high opinion of your looks and a sense of entitlement when people compliment you. Your ego is usually punctuated with a "hottie" shirt, which makes you slightly less tolerable to be around than children with poopie diapers and runny noses, and slightly more tolerable to be around than a saucer of goat cum and an entrée of fricassee gerbil droppings.