I’ve trained my monkey to not throw poo around the condo, but I’ve still not been able to break him of his habit of pulling his pud. The other night he was priming his monkey pump so fast and furious that my parrot Flarple took notice and asked me what the deal was. As I tried to explain to him, a few questions came up that I hadn’t ever thought about, one namely was do birds have dicks? Flarple was inquisitive as to the monkey meat appendage that was getting flogged, and I had to go and make a bad joke about Flarple having a pecker, when it hit me….not that I ever looked but Flarples anatomy seemed to resemble a Ken doll in that there wasn’t any evidence of dongage down there. This unfortunate conversation and realization was perplexing enough, but the fact that Flarple started to notice other things like both me and my monkey have nipples was another conversation I wanted to avoid and at this point things were to say the least, awkward. Luckily for me my monkey is a screamer which distracted Flarple enough that I could change the subject, and talk about why it is not a good idea to blow-dry otters.